


Echoes

by ashley3314



Category: General - Fandom, non fandom
Genre: Depression, Oneshot, Suicide Attempt, idk what this is, my first story though, yet another of those soulmate AUs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-16 21:43:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10580067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashley3314/pseuds/ashley3314
Summary: What if the voice in your head was your soulmate's?





	

My mother used to tell me that she was sad because of the voices in her head. That some days she couldn't breathe or think properly because the voice in her head went silent when she was younger, when my father died. There was something missing inside of her that longed to be filled once again, but there just wasn't anyone left to fill it. She told me that one day when I was ready, I'd find my soulmate, using the voices in my head. There is a voice in each and every one of us, that's shared by someone else in this entire world. And for some people, well, that doesn't work out well.

_"You deserve to die."_

The disembodied voice in my head echoes softly.

It rises and falls in cadence, low pitches gliding smoothly into my brain and wrenching my heart at the same time. It's full of broken anger, anger at life that was spinning out of control and it seeps into me.

_"Kill yourself."_

My soulmate first spoke when I was fifteen. At first, it was just small reminders and bits and pieces of their lives: _"Remember to take out the trash,"_ and _"Jess said that-"_. As time passed, they became darker. I felt their pain as though it were mine. 

"Why do you do this to yourself? Why are you upset?", I whisper out into the darkness of my bedroom. My heart breaks with the weight of their emotion. I think each time I hear their voice, another resounding crack echoes through the catacombs of my chest.

I think sometimes they hear my pleas and they desperately grasp. They grasp and reach out for hands to pull them out of the suffocating quicksand they were sinking into, both for my sake and theirs. Maybe my voice resonated in their head at the same time as theirs did, splitting them in half, tearing them apart at how one part of them screamed for pain and hurt and sadness whilst the other shrieked at them to stop-

I take in a deep, calm breath and try to ignore the pain in my chest. Their pain seeps into my skin, filling me with the desire to hurt, main, tear at my flesh and never stop.

Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier, better for them if I met them face to face. Sat with them and just looked, right into their eyes and helped them with their depression in real life. Maybe they just needed to see that they had a future, something waiting for them in the dark unknown path of their lives, and then they would remember me, remember us the next time they wanted to die.

There was a night when I woke up in a cold sweat, stomach roiling and breath coming in short pants. I felt their pain, the too-many pills they had consumed sitting heavily in their stomach, yet feeling stuck in their throat, their gullet working desperately to expel whatever was lodged in their airways, choking them-

I sat there in pain for ages, both my throat and stomach burning and my entire body shaking with barely suppressed agony. If what pain I was feeling was a mere fraction of that of my soulmate's, I couldn't even begin to comprehend what torment they were enduring. My sight blurred in and out as though their own conscience was trying to float away but couldn't, whether it was because of the pumping the doctors did to save them or because my own mind was screaming at them to hang on, just hang on a little while longer because I didn't want to feel what my mother did when my father passed away.

Hours later, the burning in my lungs and insides faded and the intense blurring subsided to a floating peace. And days later, they started echoing again. Again, I wondered if it would really be better to meet them, to help them.

But I figured, if I wasn't strong enough to endure their pain with them, I wasn't ready to meet them yet. And if they werent strong enough to stand up to their own demons, they weren't ready to meet me either.

_"You deserve better."_

"I don't want better. I'll wait."

**Author's Note:**

> my first story, tbh idk where it came from but I hope you like it! leave a comment and likes are appreciated (:
> 
> lets hope i actually know what im doing on this website and that my tags are good enough


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